we invited authoritarianism into our homes and promised not to whimper while it danced on our necks.

it's understandable that pittsburgh was excited and optimistic about the prospect of hosting the g20.

if the world thinks of our fair city at all, it's generally in terms of air pollution and industry long gone, or of sports: the stanley cup champion pittsburgh penguins, the six-time super bowl champion pittsburgh steelers and, of course, the magnificent PNC park. nice distinctions and all, but not really saying much for the actual city itself and its inhabitants. meanwhile, the economy is in hell -- the handbasket burned long ago, and now it's just us. a little political distinction and glamour couldn't hurt, right? especially given that we're somewhat ahead of the curve on the whole recession thing, and frankly, we've been waiting for someone to acknowledge that fact.

right. except that we aren't DC. when we move here or choose to stay, pittsburghers are not willingly signing our lives away to be on city lockdown, overrun by police and tourists with agendas, unable to get to work or school or wherever. i'm a little bit of a spectacle junkie, and even i was overwhelmed, frustrated, disturbed and eventually infuriated by the events of what was basically a long weekend.

the issues, as i see them, in no particular order:

1. by the time it got here, it was played out.

the upshot of springing a major political event on a city like pittsburgh? it was all anyone (and i do mean anyone) talked about for a good two weeks before hand. too much. overkill.

2. traffic.

you know that line from grease where sandy tries a cigarette for the first time and rizzo says, "you shoudn't inhale unless you're used to it"? unless you've already been driving here for 2+ full years, you and everyone you encounter is screwed when you get behind the wheel.

also, see #1 -- most of that two weeks of chatter was about how awful the traffic was going to be. yes, we know. just awful. everyone's life will be ruined. so tragic. handle it.

also, i know people were moving around a little, what with fancy dinner at phipps and all, but literally everywhere i turned on thursday was blocked by police cars. i drove in three separate complete circles between my house and my coffee fix, and i am a pro at east end driving. no good.

3. the lingering post-steel era identity crisis.

yes, the city wanted the publicity, and yes, pittsburgh and pittsburghers wanted to be hospitable, and we felt guilty about that because it's supposedly a blue collar town and we don't need 'em cloggin' up dahntahn n'at. but we're also good, solid, respectable, PROUD folk, and we wanted to show that we're just as good and capable and welcoming as any other city. after all, as has repeatedly been mentioned, when reporters heard the g20 would be held here, they laughed -- to which pittsburgh said, "bring it on! we'll show you!" ...following which it privately muttered, "ugh, this is going to be SUCH a burden."

grateful or ungrateful? pittsburgh welcomes the world, or pittsburgh really wishes you'd all please just go home now? working-class, blue collar pride, or up-and-coming, successful city pride? we're pretty torn about all of it.

4. police state.

if you've wondered to yourself, "what exactly does 'g20' mean?" i'll tell you. it means cops. cops cops cops cops cops. more cops than you've ever seen in your life. in riot gear. looking either extremely dangerous or extremely bored. everywhere. on horseback, with dogs, on balconies, around corners, in shops. constant sirens.

by the way, a lot of these cops were from out of town. normally i'd say, well, okay, what's the difference?

a scenario: it's 2 am. you're on foot. you need to walk four blocks straight ahead, but the way is shut, so to speak, by two police cars. you ask the officers for a suggested alternate route. their suggestion involves walking through polish hill and the hill district. you are tired, and do not have a death wish. what do you do? (yes, this happened, though not to me.)

5. "i'm mad as hell and i'm not going to take this anymore"-itis.

what makes a protester?

there are things i'm not thrilled about (or, inversely, things i'm passionate about). i've participated in demonstrations and rallies and marches and whatnot. i've even traveled to other cities for them on occasion. here's a cool fact, though: each of those demonstrations or rallies or marches had a stated purpose.

there were some legitimate, well-planned, well-executed, coherent demonstrations during g20fest. to the best of my knowledge, those did not result in broken windows, lit dumpsters, stolen property, et cetera.

there were also some extremely poorly planned, poorly executed, totally incoherent protests and... let's call them "situations" that arose. it's an economic summit, not a catch-all soapbox opportunity. if you don't have an aim, you're going to miss. man, did some people miss.

6. the complex guilt factor.

cops are (mostly) blue collar, which we respect. but they're also cops, and they're EVERYWHERE, which is, you know, off-putting.

protesters represent the everyman, which we're all about, but the whole destruction of property thing -- not kosher.

where do you turn when your relatively quiet, happy little east end neighborhood morphs into a freakish police state and an aimlessly destructive mob target overnight? where is the third option?

right, there isn't one. everyone i've heard talk about this, including myself, sounds either like a raging conservative hick or a raging liberal anarchist. and most of us switch back and forth depending on the piece of the puzzle being discussed at that moment. it's more than a little bit sickening.

7. the obama voter's sellout dilemma.

pittsburgh votes democrat. fact. obama's got the steelers jersey and pens jersey to prove it. we love the man. obviously, politicians are politicians and there's nothing to be done about it, but as politicians go, he's a damn decent man. so when he invites the world to our doorstep to show us off, we blush a little and invite them all in.

the problem is, tony norman is right (again). we looked this thing right in the face and instead of really seeing it for what it was, we checked our reflection in its aviator sunglasses and considered what we'd look like in the media (remember, the camera adds ten pounds).


i have a sense that pittsburgh will experience positive effects from the g20 being here, though i couldn't say what those will be, and we may or may not recognize them when we see them. and at very least we can say that it didn't bring the city to the ground.

it was andy warhol, a pittsburgh native, who said in 1968 that, "in the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." as a city, we're going on a bit more than fifteen at this point, but the subtext rings true: it's all in flashes, and the value of the minutes themselves is questionable, or perhaps irrelevant. around here, the g20 was a big deal; elsewhere in the US, not so much. the spotlight matters to the one in it, not to the audience. while warhol is often quoted either cynically or to with an implication of glamour, i like to think that what matters about the fifteen minutes is not the time itself, but the reflection and self-evaluation that happens afterward.

so what have we learned here?